Another Fruity Drink

When it comes to naming products, using the vernacular of schoolkids in the early 80s isn’t an idea that I would have come close to dreaming up.  But, the good people at Pataya have done just that.  I imagine they discarded Mega, Skill and Brill in favour of ACE Drink.  I tried searching for Pataya, but all I got was references to a beach in Thailand which seems is popular with the gay community.

ACE Drink

That is a 1.5 litre carton, though in the picture it appears to be about the size of a wardrobe.  So, what jumps out at you when you look at the picture above?  The anonymous nuclear family looking positively ecstatic with their empty cups?  The state of my table?  Or the picture of carrots on the label?

Yes, ACE drink comprises of 20% orange juice, 5% lemon juice and 5% carrot juice.  I’m jumping to conclusions here, maybe carrot and citrus juices are drunk by the Olympic-sized swimming pool (stock unit of measurement) every morning.  I’ve not heard of such a combination and was now eyeing up the contents suspiciously.  I had a look at the ingredients, not expecting much more than juices and water, but then I had my idiotic eureka moment.  The name ACE derives from the fact that the drink is fortified with vitamins C and E and provitamin A.  Now it all makes sense.

After recovering from how docile I felt, I looked at the smallprint.  Incidentally, this seems to be a common theme.  Being sold in yellow-fronted Eurostores means that the carton, for economical reasons, contains its information in many European languages.  The downsize of this is that you need a microfiche reader to discern any text.  This is what it claims:

“Quenches thirst and provides the body with important vitamins.”. Sounds good to me.  Then comes the odd grammar.

“The positive benefits of Pataya A+C+E vitamin drink combined with the fresh and fruity taste of carrots, lemons and sunripened oranges”

But what are the positive benefits, and why are they positive?  I had to read it three times before I realised it wasn’t just my eyes struggling to resolve text that appears to have been printed using photolithography and that it was in fact just a fragment of a sentence that somebody had decided to stick a full stop on the end.  Oh and they don’t make it any easier by using black text on that green background.  It then goes on about how much of your GDA of the vitamins it offers before concluding with this peculiar bit of marketing lingo.

“An ideal drink for active and health conscious people, for breakfast and in between meals”.  Clearly I am not their target demographic.  I am not particularly active or health conscious.  Still, I won’t tell them if you won’t.

I would show you what the juice looked like served up, but I didn’t see the point as it’s identical in appearance to the Linessa Light Multivitamin Nectar I wrote about two months ago, maybe a bit more orange, though that will clearly be a side-effect of the carrots.

I can tell you that this drink is really really tasty.  I heartily recommend it.   The citrus bite from the orange and lemon juice is softened by the carrot juice which means  that it’s possible to pour a large amount of this down your gullet before you realise how much you’ve drunk.  At only 99p for 1.5l, you certainly get your money’s worth.  This is definitely going on my regular purchases list.

Scores:
Taste – 8/10
Swiggability– 8/10
Value for Money – 8/10
Text density on packaging – 9/10
Colour – 6/10

Total:  39/50