Scandinavian For Value

"…but Scandinavian isn't even a language."

This Sausage Looks Veerry Suspicious…

with 4 comments

It’s not all sweets, cakes and drinks at SFV.  In fact a couple of days ago from Lidl, I bought what appeared on the receipt as “Gourmet Sausage”.  The label says “Twinner Speciality German Cooked Pork Sausages” followed by ‘Ready to Eat’.  They are made by “Sickendiek Fleischwarenfabrik”, (or meat factory) based in Northern Germany.  I can assure you that unlike Hollybush Butter, I didn’t buy this product simply because it said Sickendiek on the label.  I bought it because it looked like this.

Sickendiek's Finest Cooked Pork Sausage.

That’s quite a lot of German sausage.  £1.99 for 650g and they are larger than you think; the scale can’t really be appreciated from the picture.  Again, the label reveals that this product is made for Lidl Stores.  The label also informs that 100g of this product carries 287 calories and the ingredients say that they are 75% pork.  I’m not sure as to which parts of the animal can constitute as pork, but I have a feeling it’s best I don’t know.  But then, the next ingredient is pork fat which narrows the options down.  The ingredients also advise that it contains celery and mustard as allergens. I know mustard can make your eyes water, but can celery?  And if so, how?  Also, it may contain traces of nuts.  How?  It’s processed pork so where do nuts come into it?  Unless it refers to one of the parts of a pig that can be called pork.

I grabbed the scissors and viciously hacked at the packet to release the vacuum packed sausages.  They are remarkably hefty even separately and would probably be a good choice for personal defence.  If someone tried to mug you, and you pulled one of these out of your pocket and belted them with it, it would be really annoying and they may just leave you alone.

I examined it, trying to be as un-homoerotic as possible, and found that the ends were sealed with a small metal crimp.  I took a small knife and circumcised the end and peeled the skin back.

Inside the skin

The first thing that struck me was the colour, it was a light pink, like cheap sausages are, but not like cooked pork, which is usually almost a whitish colour, this was more the colour of almost cooked pork.  The label mentions no artificial colours so where does the pinkness come from?  I suspect it was the traces of nuts.  It also has a mottled appearance which is usually found on very cheap processed meats and is often traces of fat and connective tissue.  Connective tissue really is as unpleasant as it sounds, and it is what hotdogs are made from.

I cut a few slices to sample it.  Taste wise, it was quite nice.  It tasted a lot like pork-pie meat.  A bit of jelly and some of that pastry and it could well be sold as “Mock Pork Pie”.  The difference was the texture.  It was smooth, smoother than any other such cooked pork sausages, even things like Mattessons which has some chunkiness to it.   This was smooth like a potted meat paste.  This usually means that it is heavily processed.  They have taken a pig, cut off all the meat that can be sold as joints, steaks, chops and bacon, removed the offal and then the remains have been slung in a machine that jet-washes the rest of the flesh and tissues off the bones and then it is compressed through a mesh.  This mush is then drained and then moulded into frankfurters and sausages like this, along with sliced cooked ham and pork including that stuff shaped like a bear’s face.  In fact, anything with the word “reformed” on the label.  Yummy.

Even with these ghoulish origins, it is still rather tasty.  I couldn’t eat more than a few thin slices in a sandwich with salad cream, but that pork-pie porkiness swings the balance the other way.  Well partly anyway.  Compared to other such reformed pork products, such as packets of processed ‘reformed’ sliced meats, this sausage is superior.  Though in context, that is like saying liver disease is superior to lung disease.

On the whole, I was quite disappointed with this.  I was hoping it would be of better quality rather than clearly being an extruded lump of  mashed pig carcass and this is the first purchase that I haven’t been happy with.  It lacks something, maybe a hint of smokiness might have made the difference, or even better would be if the texture wasn’t so fine.  It needs to be just ever so slightly chunkier.  I might try a few slices in a bowl of salad just to see if it can be made desirable.  I doubt I’ll be buying any more of this though, for a start you just get far too much for your £1.99.  With Mattessons, you get 227g of Mattessons Reduced Fat pork sausage for £1.45 and although Sickendieck is far cheaper by weight,  why would anybody need 650g of cooked pork sausage?  It’s all very Teutonic.

Taste – 7/10
Texture – 4/10
Capacity for Innuendo – 9/10
Value For Money – 6/10
Potential – 6/10

Total:  32/50


Written by just1bloke

2 May 2011 at 1:30 am

Posted in Meat Products

4 Responses

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  1. I think I’d chop it up and make some sort of curry out of it…. then again I am a student so these things are to be expected

    Keep up the good work!


    2 May 2011 at 12:45 pm

  2. i’ve grilled it very briefly and it tastes way nicer.

    according to the package you can also boil it (but sasuage and boil in the same sentence is crazy to me)


    16 May 2012 at 2:09 pm

  3. This sausage I havent tried yet, but will soon. As a Swede living in England ive been missing our “Falukorv” as we call it, how we do is, fry it (serve with french fries or mash potatoes), in half inch slices, or cook in oven, as it is, cut some groves and put cheese in. Also very good for sausage stroganof.
    I would never boil it, frying it brings diff flavours


    16 August 2012 at 12:05 am

  4. slice into 1cm thick rounds and coat with some (chip shop style) batter… deep fry for a few minutes… LOVELY!!


    27 August 2016 at 8:21 pm

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